~*~ Expect Miracles ~*~
We are Born to Win

I commenced writing my Memoirs about 5 years ago, starting with the most recent crime, as I found that was the easiest of the three to broach. That book is since completed, albeit minus professional editing, and I moved on to my second book, the topic of which was the middle crime. Part way into that second book, I decided I needed to go back to the beginning of my life and put my books into chronological order. So, here we are; I am taking you back to my early childhood where all the turmoil started.

My stories are the truth; impacting and littered with a vast array of emotions – sometimes warm and loving; at other times the cold harsh reality of crime oozes forth. Dreadful cruelty, emotional despair, crime, fraud, love and happiness are all entwined. The characters are many; detectives, police, family, husbands, lovers, friends and rogues, to name a few.

Writing my stories has a second purpose, other than the creative and healing aspect – and that is to use them as stepping stones, reaching greater heights and volumes of people, and in so doing to gain a ‘voice‘ against the Tyrannical ways of the so-called ‘justice‘ system; a system that is frequently so unjust and cruel that it tends to dish out a harsher, more cruel crime than did the original perpetrator!

Names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals for security and legal reasons, because all three crimes are serious criminal cases that remain unsolved. My nom de plume is Mikky Eagle, and my chosen name for depicting myself throughout my writing is Freya Attwood. This name holds a great deal of intimacy for me, as it was the name my birth father would have preferred me to have been called, but my mother chose an alternative name. If I achieve success and gain the justice I seek, I will proudly allow my true name to be called from the rooftops, alongside the perpetrators who inflicted these crimes upon me!

What’s it all about?

Many times during my life I have asked this very question: “What’s it all about?”
Have you?
Life is a puzzle; a charade, a total labyrinth – yes, to be sure, it is most definitely a labyrinth ….. an intricate combination of paths or passages in which it is difficult to find one’s way, or to reach the exit. So, what does one do whilst enveloped in this maze? Continue on, strive ever forward – and never let it defeat you!

At the young and tender age of around seven or eight (possibly even earlier, although I have no proper recollection), I was subjected to a great many years of cruel and despicable behaviour, brought down upon me by a man who was, in the eyes of others, a respectable man. He was a close friend of my family, who had been known to all since before my birth. After my parents divorced he became my mother’s boyfriend for many years. He was, in essence, my step-father, which made the crimes he committed against me Incest! This man betrayed the very essence of morality, subjecting me to eight or more torturous years at the whims of his decadence – until at the age of fifteen he released me from his wicked clutches, due to the unspeakable consequence his depravity had inflicted upon my tender young body.

His utterly reprehensible and wilful debauchery scarred me for life. For at least another fifteen years after he released his hold over me I struggled, both physically and mentally. The more I matured, the more I became better able to cope and to live with my past. These crimes took place approximately between the years of 1959-1966.

The paedophile is a monster needing to be destroyed!

Regrettably, when all things are considered, it takes a great many years before an assaulted child can open up and tell others what happened. Sometimes they never do. In my case, it was many years after the abuse, and triggered by more heartache, that opened the floodgates.

Multitudes of feelings run riot inside an innocent child’s head, causing utter confusion and turmoil during the developing years. Emotions range from shame, disgust, embarrassment, guilt, fear, perplexity and many more, to feelings of worthlessness, despair and frequently suicidal tendencies. I can personally assure you, these children need the warmth and care of love and protection. Ultimately, on most occasions we youngsters battle it all alone, far too afraid and upset to confide in those close to us. This is the psychological trap the paedophile is able to create, and in most instances the monster is very skilled and knows exactly what to do to manipulate his prey.

So, that is what my project is all about – refusing to allow the tragic crimes that have befallen me get the better of me and crush the life force from my soul. We are dealing with a time span of seventy years, so it is well and truly time to set the records straight! This first Memoir spans about half my life, until I was in my mid-30s. The next two books pick up from there.

For me to win this battle, I feel these crimes need to be exposed for the horror that they are, and justice needs to be served. So, that is my aim and intention – to force attention onto those who are put into positions to uphold law and order, and make these bureaucrats not only aware of what their system and their employees have allowed to slip underneath the levels of moral protection, but in so doing, force them to bring forth justice to my life. My goal is that by exposing the brutal disregard of law enforcement, this should also assist the large number of other survivors facing similar travesties within the justice system. In writing these books, my primary focus is upon these miscarriages that took place. I discuss the crime, as that is of course the nucleus, but I move on to the effects of the crime, being the life-long scars that are the consequence of the cruel acts. The manifestation of it all lies in the linchpin; the justice system that repeatedly failed me!

I will persist until I succeed.
Quoting one of my favourite sayings:
“Everything will be all right in the end… if it’s not all right, then it’s not yet the end.“

I truly hope you will enjoy reading my memoirs, and I thank you in advance for your interest in my work and my life.